Love Your Body Month Tip #12:

Make a personal beauties list.

Most of us have no problem listing our blemishes, but how many of us keep a list of our beauties? Sit down with pen and paper and give yourself a compliment: I have beautiful brown eyes, I have pretty hands. If you struggle to compliment yourself physically, start with your inner beauties: I am kind and loving, I’m a good listener. Try to come up with at least 5 compliments. Then, every day for the rest of the month, read your list and add at least one more compliment.

Let’s see if we can make our beauties list longer than our blemishes list.

Check in tomorrow for lucky Tip #13.

Love Your Body Tip #11:

Make friends with the mirror.

You can use the mirror to train your brain and your eye at the same time. Put a note on your mirror with a body love message, such as “I accept myself unconditionally right now,” or “I am beautiful inside and out.” Whenever you look in the mirror, look yourself directly in the eye and say your message. You’ll be amazed at how powerful the experience may be.

Well, we’re 11 days into Love Your Body Month. How are you doing? Do you have any tips of your own? Feel free to post a comment on your experience with Love Your Body Month so far.

You’ve just got to love the tagline of Multi-Tasking Woman.com: is Redundant.

Kyle Young, founder and CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) of the site, is creating a community of women:

“that empowers each of them to embrace and celebrate ALL the facets of their lives as a unique whole. There’s so much power in women having the support of each other at every point along their path.”

And I’ve got to love MTW: check out the fantastic profile of The Curvy Life (by clicking here) and the profile of me (by clicking here).

If you are a Multi-Tasking Woman (I know, redundant) head on over to Multi-Tasking Woman.com where you can meet some awesome women (present company included) and share your own Multi-Tasking story.

Tip #10 comes from NEDA’s (National Eating Disorder Association) “Twenty Ways to Love Your Body!” If you’re feeling ambitious, check out the entire list; however, for a Sunday, this one is probably plenty :

Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people who remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

Be mindful of your body and and your environment. Feeling physically and emotionally at peace go a long way to making us more comfortable with our bodies.

See you tomorrow for Tip #11.

Love Your Body Month Tip #9:

Look at images of real women.

Not only are the majority of the images that we see in the media photoshopped beyond recognition, the women in these images represent a very rare body type. Our eye becomes accustomed to just one look–tall, skinny, smooth, and shiny. And if that is not your body type, it is easy to become convinced that your body is flawed and unappealing.

So, where do we find images of “real” women? A great place to start is the Lifetime Television show “How to Look Good Naked” (Fridays 9 & 9:30pm, Saturdays 11 & 11:30 pm, or watch full episodes online). Women of all shapes and sizes strip down to bra and panties, and look awesome while doing it. Never before on television have I seen such a wide variety of female body types placed side-by-side and treated in such a positive manner. (Of course, they feature a commercial at the beginning of this clip with a tall, skinny, smooth, and please note, shiny woman.)

Plus Model Magazine (online) and Figure Magazine (print) feature women anywhere from size 10-18 (Yes, Virginia, size 10 is plus-size in the fantastical world of modeling). For some curvier models, check out the girls on B&Lu.com. There are other sources as well; check our links for many more.

It is a slow process, but we can re-train our eye to accept a broader, more inclusive definition of a beautiful body.

Check back tomorrow for Tip #10.

The following is our updated About page:

The Curvy Life blog is a response to the constant barrage of unrealistic images of women on television, in movies, and in print. We are constantly being told that our bodies and our lives aren’t “good enough” and many of us suffer from the emotional pain of feeling outside the beauty norm (ab-norm as it is).

However, the Curvy Life is really for her:

That’s me at age 15, hating my body.

I had already been on a diet or two, and I remember the punch in the gut I felt when I looked at this photo–I hated my thighs, I thought my stomach was too poochy, and my knees were too dimply. From this point forward, I made it a mission to avoid having my picture taken.

It breaks my heart to look at this picture today. I look at that photo know and think– How cute was I? Young, slim, with creamy skin, beautiful in the way of youth (and I wish I could have those thighs back). I was athletic and smart and outgoing. Yet, at this moment in my life, I felt like a failure as a woman (and I was just starting out).

It took me many years to learn to appreciate my own beauty, and dare I say it, to love my body. It was a process, and I want to share that process here, so that no woman has to carry the heavy burden on her heart carried by that 15 year-old girl.

Here I am, all grown-up:

I still wince at the site of myself on film, but I don’t run from the camera anymore. And I know, that one day, I’ll look back in wonder at the beauty of my youth here, just like I do with my 15-year-old self.

So, what’s the mission?

The Curvy Mission

1. To promote positive body image and self-esteem, regardless of size
2. To advocate for size inclusion and diverse images of women
3. To educate women about images and messages aimed at us
4. To promote body love rather than body hate
5. To encourage whole body, mind, and spirit wellness
6. To rage against the self-loathing machine
7. To create a community of support

I’d love to hear your curvy story. Feel free to share your curvy struggles, your curvy triumphs, your curvy fears, your curvy dreams–your curvy life.

So, I finally saw the show. I definitely agree that the outer environment we create can be reflective of the inner environment. And I have always been fascinated by the inner clutter/outer clutter relationship.

However, Is her home MAKING her fat? I have to say: correlation does not equal causation. Given that the woman featured on the show had suffered the loss of a child and has a life-threatening illness, I have no doubt that it is almost impossible to maintain a perfect home. She clearly has some serious inner turmoil, and no doubt low physical energy, so if her home is chaotic, that makes sense.

Otherwise, I liked Peter Walsh, although he should not have broken that poor woman’s spoon.

I mention the blog The-F-Word in the previous post, but I wanted to mention another awesome site: Too Fat For Fashion.  Both of these sites have striking artwork and are full of great commentary and resources.

I posted Tip #8 early so that I could make some quick comments on today’s Oprah. I haven’t seen the episode yet, but I have heard from several people who were really upset by the episode. I usually love Peter Walsh, so I’m interested to see the episode. I usually don’t comment on something until I’ve seen it, but some thoughts do come to mind.

First, just as there is more to body composition than overeating/undereating, there is more to chronic clutter than lack of organizational discipline. Chronic disorder and hoarding are serious conditions that require the support of psychologists as well as organizers specifically trained to help. (See the NSGCD to see the seriousness of clutter disorders). Further, chronic health problems that create limited energy levels can make weight management and clutter management more challenging.

A friend of The Curvy Life recommended the article “For Shame, Oprah, for Shame” on the blog The-F-Word.org: Food, Fat, and Feminism. I think they make a very compelling argument.

I have to remark: since 9/11 the government’s solution to all of our economic woes has been consumption–keep spending, in fact, we’ll give you money if you promise to spend it. Not only are we a consumer society, we are unpatriotic if we don’t consume as vigorously as possible.

Yet, according to the all powerful “They” (as in “They say … is good/bad/right/wrong), what are societal woes numbers one and two? Fat and Clutter. What have become our favorite spectator sports? Watching very fat people suffer (The Biggest Loser, almost every other show on Discovery Health Channel) and watching people with very cluttered homes suffer (Clean Sweep, Clean House, two Oprah’s on clutter disorders).

Where are we supposed to keep all the stuff we’re urged to consume?

Love Your Body Tip - #8 is inspired by a quote by Dr. Christiane Northrup:

You are not the victim of your body.

She made this comment, not in connection with body image, but rather concerning physical illness. Whatever the condition of our bodies, the physical body itself is trying as hard as it can to maintain life. Illness is not our body attacking or abusing us–our body is our biggest most loyal defender. Imbalance may cause the systems of our bodies to behave in ways that are counter to our well-being, that in fact, may end our life; however, from the point of view of the body, it thinks that it is doing the best that it can.

So, when we feel the victim of our bodies, due to illness or to body composition, we are really feeling victimized by our one true life partner. And it becomes easy to return what seems to be abuse with abuse.

You are not the victim of your body.

You and your body are in this thing together, and you both deserve as much compassion as you can muster.

We’re a week into Love Your Body Month, so Tip #7 is easy and fun:

Dance.

Find a place where you can put on your favorite music and just move. Don’t worry about what you look like, or if what you are doing is even dancing. Check your mind at the door and let your body take over. Jump, sway, twirl, kick, swivel, shake, even spin until you fall down.

After, you’ll find yourself much more comfortable in your skin. And if you are really feeling confident, do a little dance to the Muzak in the grocery store. Not only will you bring a smile to your own face, you might just make someone else smile, as well.

See you tomorrow for Tip #8.

Another Curvy Life friend sent me links to these three IGIGI outfits (available from size 12+):

Tailored Portrait Collar Dress in Navy

Little Black Dress

Wide Leg Pants

A friend of The Curvy Life sent me this fantastic list of resources. I’m going to add these to the Blogroll and Resources list, but she gives a great breakdown on each, so here’s the list:
Body Image: Feministing, Margaret Cho (used to be plus size), Nikki Blonsky (plus size actress, now has her own TV show), About.com (Plus size fashion resources)

Clothes: Kiyonna.com, SizeAppeal, Alectra.com, Benina & Lu.com, Igigi.com, Ulla Popken, JJill.com, Alight.com, Newport News, Eileen Fisher, Calvin Klein, INC, MaxStudio size XL fits size 14-16. Evans (a UK plus store that has an online site, and is much hipper than Lane Bryant.)

Custom Clothing: TC2.com (developed 3D body scanning technology), Mytwindressforms (custom dress forms)–If there’s a way to commercialize it, TC2’s technology could be used to create affordable custom clothing. I think they use it in London to reduce the price of custom men’s suits ($900 instead of $2000.)

FIDM.com, the LA fashion school, has a ton of fashion related links
Largely Positive–an example of a body image website that might be similar to yours

Body Love Tip#6:

Find yourself in art.

Standards of beauty change with time and place. When we are constantly exposed to just one standard of beauty, especially a standard which is becoming more homogenized every day, it is easy to forget that, in another time and place, today’s supermodels would be considered unexceptional.

One way to see the beauty standards of the past is through art. So jump in your way-back machine and visit the time and place where you would be a goddess. The picture above is Ruben’s “The Toilet of Venus” (Venus was the Roman goddess of love and beauty). Or, maybe you’re a Grace from Botticelli’s Primavera, one of Renoir’s Bathers series, Manet’s Olympia, Titian’s Venus Anadyomene.

Today is Mardi Gras, which is French for “Fat Tuesday.” So in honor of Fat Tuesday, Tip #5 is:

Celebrate your fat.

We’re so busy hating fat that we don’t even realize when we are celebrating it. Think you don’t celebrate fat? Well, do you wish you had Salma Hayek’s breasts? Beyonce’s booty? Angelina Jolie’s lips? Breast, booty, lips–all are shaped by fat. So, if we can celebrate the fat of others, then why not celebrate our own?

New Orleans Mardi Gras has a reputation as a wild, “anything goes” party. Let’s all get a little wild today and celebrate our luscious, voluptuous, yes, fat-filled curves.

(And, if you get a chance to wear an awesome outfit like Mardi Gras Gal’s, even better.)