“Seeking the ideal body, searching for perfection” is a great editorial by college student Denise Heady about the pressure she feels to be thin.

I’m 5-foot-2 and weigh 112 pounds.
Most people consider me to be average. Some would even say that I am on the skinny side.
But I feel enormous. Up until last year, I never weighed more than 100 pounds.
You might think I’m weird, or even crazy, for considering myself to be too big. But let me explain.
First, take a look at the culture we live in.
Images of women are plastered everywhere. They are used to sell everything from fishing line to fast food. These models are tall and slender.
The women in these ads are 5-foot-10 and weigh 105 pounds. How can real women compete with that kind of body image?

Click here for the rest of the article.

I came across this book when I read the article “Love Your Fat Self” in the Jan/Feb 2008 issue of Utne Reader. I was so moved by her compassionate take on what it means to be a young, fat woman today. Even further, though, I was struck by the subtitle of her book: “The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body.”

Body loathing has become the new normal for women. What are we going to do about that?

Here’s a short excerpt from the book that I found profound (I find the whole book to be profound, for that matter):

The cruel irony is that although we become totally obsessed with the daily measures of how “good” or “bad” we are (refused dessert = good; didn’t have time to go to the gym = bad), there is no finish line. This weight preoccupation will never lead us anywhere. It is a maniacal maze that always spits you out at the same point it sucked you up: wanting. We keep chasing after perfection as if it is an achievable goal, when really it is the most grand and painful of all mirages (Alternet.org, 4/18/2007).

I think that Martin has a really honest and fresh take on the whole body loathing issue. And that’s why I featuring her book in the Book Club.

Click here, Perfect girls, for the Amazon link, if you need it.

I love books and I’m always on the look out for new and/or interesting books on body image, self-esteem, and positivity. So, I’ve decided to start a Curvy Live Book Club (Oprah’s got nothing on me). Each month I’ll present the highlights of one of my favorite books. Feel free to join the discussion. And if you have a favorite book, let me know–I’d love to read it.

This month I’ve decided to feature Courtney Martin’s Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters. She has a compelling take on the pressure of perfection, particularly on women under 30; however, as a woman over 30, I find her insights to be spot on.

If you need a copy of the book, you can order directly from Amazon by clicking Perfect girls. Otherwise, the book is widely available at bookstores nation wide. I’ll give you a little background on the book tomorrow.

Now that we’ve spent a month thinking about loving our bodies, Tip #28 is about spreading the love:

Don’t tolerate negative body talk from others.

In her book “Do I Look Fat in This,” Jessica Weiner describes a scenario where the women of the world simply great each other with:

I feel fat.

Yeah, me too, I feel so fat.

Negative body talk has become the common language of women, and it’s time we put a stop to it. When your friends start dissing their bodies, speak up. Call them on it. Let’s use peer pressure to our advantage and start communicating with one another in ways that foster genuine connection and support.

All of the tips this month have really had Tip #27 as their aim:

Eliminate body image clutter.

We start collecting body image clutter as children.  Then we are constantly bombarded by negative messages about our bodies. Make it your goal to sort through the mental static and keep only those thoughts about your body (and yourself) that support and empower you.

And, of course, keep checking back here for more on decluttering body image–our theme for March.

The first step in decluttering body image is to uncover the mental and physical clutter we have around our bodies.  The following is a 10-point assessment to reveal areas in your life where you might be holding on to body image clutter:

1. Do you spend thinking and/or worrying about your body, food, and exercise? How much time?
2. Do you have nagging, negative feelings around the way you look?
3. Can you take a compliment?  When complimented, is your first response, “Thank you,” or do you try to diminish the praise?
4. Do you ask your partner/spouse/friends/family—do I look fat in this? How often?
5. How many diet books, magazine articles, cookbooks, etc. do you have? How many do you use?
6. How many exercise gadgets do you own? How many do you use on a regular basis?
7. Do you have a full or even over-full closet, but “nothing to wear”?
8. Do you have “skinny” clothes? Do you have “fat” clothes?
9. How long does it take you to get dressed for work? Play? Special occasions?
10. Do you feel beautiful/powerful/attractive/professional every time you leave your house?

Once you identify the clutter, you can remove it and replace it with ideas and routines that support your well-being.  More on this in another post.

Just a reminder that I’ll be talking with Allison and Sara of “The Organizing Playground” about “Decluttering Body Image” today at noon at www.radiosandysprings.com.  I’m on in the second half of the show. (If you miss the live show, you can catch the replay at the link for “The Organizing Playground”.)

Today’s tip comes from the “Love Your Body Day” campaign:

Develop a creative outlet. Everyone needs a medium to express daily stress and frustrations constructively. Maybe you’re a photographer, writer, poet or all three. Maybe you can knit, make shapes out of clay or finger paint. Loving your body is also about loving your mind.

Find your art and let your body create.

Tune into www.radiosandysprings.com on Tuesday at noon for my interview with the ladies of “The Organizing Playground” on “Decluttering Body Image.” I’m on in the second half of the show. (If you miss the live show, you can catch the replay at the link for “The Organizing Playground”.)

As part of their “Be Comfortable in Your Genes” campaign, NEDA is encouraging all of us to go through our closets and donate any jeans that don’t fit.  So, in line with their challenge, Tip #25 is:

Only wear clothes that you love, that fit you well, and that make you feel your best.

If you are keeping clothes in your closet that don’t fit well or no longer fit at all then you are creating negative energy around your body image that will hit you every time you open the closet door.  Better to have a few fabulous garments than a closet full of clothes that make you feel bad.

And by donating the clothes that don’t fit you anymore you are helping someone in need.  That’s making two happy people with one pair of jeans (or one shirt, one dress, etc.)

Today marks the beginning of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and NEDA’s theme this year is our tip for the day:

Embrace your genes.

The goal of the campaign is to encourage all of us to work with the size and shape determined by our genes. Check out www.embraceyourgenes.com for info on finding jeans that really fit or on donating to NEDA.

Tip #23 is purely physical:

Unleash your inner athlete.

Sometimes we don’t fully participate in life because we feel that we don’t have the “right” body for an activity. As a result, we don’t get to experience the satisfaction that comes from stretching ourselves physically and learning something new. What physical activity have you been avoiding? Have you tried ice skating, rock climbing, running, or dancing? Pick an activity that you’ve resisted and give it a try. You’ll be impressed at how your body responds.

Now that you have your signature song, walk, piece, and mantra, what do you do if you still don’t love your body?

Fake it ’til you make it.

All tips aside, changing your attitude toward your body does not happen overnight (or over-month). Creating a positive and healthy relationship with your body is an ongoing process, one that has to be maintained in the same way we maintain other aspects of our physical health.

So, during the process, if you’re not feeling it, just act as if you feel it. Put on the positive attitude like you put on an outfit. Again, it may take a while to become second nature, but even if you’re faking it, a positive way of thinking about your body is seeping into your psyche every time you “work it.”

Continuing with the theme of “signatures,” Body Love Tip #21 is:

Make your own mantra.

We hear about affirmations and intentions all the time, but mantras? The word “mantra” comes from the Sanskrit and refers to a mystical formula of invocation or incantation. This is usually a phrase repeated over and over again.

We all have mantras–words and phrases that we think and/or say over and over again: I’m not good enough, My butt’s too big, I hate my hair. And by repeating these phrases over and over again, we give them power.

So, rather than mindlessly recite negative mantras, create a positive one. When you are feeling insecure about your body, recite that mantra over and over. Run that tape mentally as you go through the day. I like to make mine over the top and ridiculous: I’m the hottest, sexiest woman in the room. I am radiant beyond comparison. Being able to add a laugh to your mantra takes the edge off things.

Make your own mantra and use it. I highly recommend it.

This is my Tip #20 coat.