Body Love Tip#6:

Find yourself in art.

Standards of beauty change with time and place. When we are constantly exposed to just one standard of beauty, especially a standard which is becoming more homogenized every day, it is easy to forget that, in another time and place, today’s supermodels would be considered unexceptional.

One way to see the beauty standards of the past is through art. So jump in your way-back machine and visit the time and place where you would be a goddess. The picture above is Ruben’s “The Toilet of Venus” (Venus was the Roman goddess of love and beauty). Or, maybe you’re a Grace from Botticelli’s Primavera, one of Renoir’s Bathers series, Manet’s Olympia, Titian’s Venus Anadyomene.

Today is Mardi Gras, which is French for “Fat Tuesday.” So in honor of Fat Tuesday, Tip #5 is:

Celebrate your fat.

We’re so busy hating fat that we don’t even realize when we are celebrating it. Think you don’t celebrate fat? Well, do you wish you had Salma Hayek’s breasts? Beyonce’s booty? Angelina Jolie’s lips? Breast, booty, lips–all are shaped by fat. So, if we can celebrate the fat of others, then why not celebrate our own?

New Orleans Mardi Gras has a reputation as a wild, “anything goes” party. Let’s all get a little wild today and celebrate our luscious, voluptuous, yes, fat-filled curves.

(And, if you get a chance to wear an awesome outfit like Mardi Gras Gal’s, even better.)

Tip #4 comes from curvy activist Jessica Weiner:

“Fat is not a feeling.”

Pain, anger, joy, sadness–those are feelings, as in emotions. Yet, as women, we often comment, “Boy, I really feel fat today.” In her book, Do I Look Fat in This?, Jessica calls this the “The Language of Fat.” We use “feel fat” to describe uncomfortable feelings–insecurity, anger, disappointment, frustration–basically any negative emotion.

Next time you catch yourself saying, “I feel fat,” pause and ask:

“What exactly is the emotion that am I feeling?”

Name it honestly and you will feel a shift. This will allow you to determine what you really need in the moment, rather than simply bashing your body.

For more on “The Language of Fat,” including a guide to an “Extreme Language Makeover,”treat yourself to Jessica Weiner’s book Do I Look Fat in This: Life Doesn’t Begin Five Pounds from Now (look to the right for a link to Amazon). Also check out her website: www.jessicaweiner.com.

Body love Tip #3:

Do something nice for your body.

Get a massage, take a bubble bath, do your hair, get a mani-pedi, or do your own. Simply take your favorite lotion and give yourself a hand massage. Whatever activity you choose, focus your attention on the physical sensation and say:

“I do this [activity] because I love my body.”

Connect the pleasant feeling of treating your body well with love for your body. Your body will thank you.

See you tomorrow for Tip #4.

If you have a great “Love Your Body”tip, let me know. All month long I’ll be including tips from Curvy Life friends.

Just select the “Comments” link to the left of each post to add your tips.

Tip #2 is inspired by NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association):

Your body is the vehicle to your dreams.

It is easy to look at the body as the sum of its parts: I hate my thighs, I like my eyes, I hate my chin, I like my hair. However, all the parts of the body (parts seen and unseen) function together in complex, extraordinary ways. Today, rather than mentally dividing your body into pieces, think of your body in its entirety. As you end your day express your gratitude to the wholeness of your body. Begin with the following:

“Thank you for carrying me through the day.”

You might find that other gratitudes to your body come to mind. Express as many as you can.

Check back tomorrow for Tip #3.

Love Your Body Month has finally arrived, and before we get to the first tip I want to let all of our Atlanta readers know about some great body love resources available locally. EDIN (Eating Disorders Information Network) is sponsoring an entire month of body positive events. Check out their schedule and see if any of their events resonate with you. I’ll be giving you updates throughout the month on specific EDIN events.

So, with that being said, here’s Tip #1:

Think of your body as a friend.

We often think and speak of our bodies in ways we would never use toward others, especially not with our friends. Throughout the day notice how you speak and act toward your body. If you find that you are less than kind in your body talk, take a moment and say (either silently or aloud):

“My body is my friend.”

You may not believe it yet, but practice saying it, and you’ll take an important step toward honoring your body.

Check back tomorrow for Tip #2.

The Curvy Life blog is a response to the constant barrage of unrealistic images of women on television, in movies, and in print. We are constantly being told that our bodies and our lives aren’t “good enough” and many of us suffer from the emotional pain of feeling outside the beauty norm (ab-norm as it is).

However, the Curvy Life is really for her:

That’s me at age 15, hating my body.

I had already been on a diet or two, and I remember the punch in the gut I felt when I looked at this photo–I hated my thighs, I thought my stomach was too poochy, and my knees were too dimply. From this point forward, I made it a mission to avoid having my picture taken.

It breaks my heart to look at this picture today. I look at that photo know and think– How cute was I? Young, slim, with creamy skin, beautiful in the way of youth (and I wish I could have those thighs back). I was athletic and smart and outgoing. Yet, at this moment in my life, I felt like a failure as a woman (and I was just starting out).

It took me many years to learn to appreciate my own beauty, and dare I say it, to love my body. It was a process, and I want to share that process here, so that no woman has to carry the heavy burden on her heart carried by that 15 year-old girl.

Here I am, all grown-up:

I still wince at the site of myself on film, but I don’t run from the camera anymore. And I know, that one day, I’ll look back in wonder at the beauty of my youth here, just like I do with my 15-year-old self.

So, what’s the mission?

The Curvy Mission

1. To promote positive body image and self-esteem, regardless of size
2. To advocate for size inclusion and diverse images of women
3. To educate women about images and messages aimed at us
4. To promote body love rather than body hate
5. To encourage whole body, mind, and spirit wellness
6. To rage against the self-loathing machine
7. To create a community of support

I’d love to hear your curvy story. Feel free to share your curvy struggles, your curvy triumphs, your curvy fears, your curvy dreams–your curvy life.

If you haven’t seen Joy Nash’s YouTube video, “Fat Rant,” it is well worth the 7 minutes it takes to watch. With over a million views since March 2007, “Fat Rant” has generated a lot of public discussion regarding fat women and self-esteem. The YouTube page for the video (as of 1/16/2008) has over 12,000 comments, Joy has been interviewed in the press numerous times, and she now has a “Fat Rant” blog (www.fatrant.com). I love Joy’s clever yet straightforward approach to issues surrounding fat life in a thin-obsessesed world; however, I am always surprised at the venom of those who feel it necessary to attack anyone who stands up and says, “I’m fat and I’m OK.” Why is positive body image and self-esteem in fat women so threatening?

See the video at YouTube or on Joy Nash’s blog, Fat Rant.

If you saw the show, let me know what you think. I was moved to tears by the journey to self-acceptance experienced by the first woman featured on the show.

If you haven’t seen the show, look for it on the Lifetime channel. It is replaying throughout the week. Or, if you don’t have Lifetime (or you just can’t wait), you can see the entire episode online at LifetimeTV.com. The show website has some interesting features–click here to view these. I particularly like the feature Where Do I Fit In? featuring the full spectrum of beautiful body types.

Check out my previous post for more on the program and for tips on how to feel good naked.

This is my New Year’s wish to everyone, and I’d like to thank Lifetime Television for helping make this wish come true. On Friday, January 4, (9pm ET), Lifetime premiers the new makeover show How To Look Good Naked.

The entire first episode of the series is available on the Lifetime website (click here for the link). I enjoyed the episode, but I was particularly impressed by the abundance of nearly-naked curvy girls on the show. Here’s a great opportunity to see “real” female bodies portrayed in a positive way on television.

The show is the American version of a successful UK show of the same title. The BBC version of the show has an extensive site, with lots of great curvy women and their stories. I love the article “The Six Stages of How to Look Good Naked.”

So, while the list refers to looking good naked, I say: be good to yourself this year, love who you are, and feel good naked!

The Six Stages of How To Look Good Naked

Stage 1: Face Your Fears
Take your clothes off in front of a mirror and have a long hard look at yourself
For many of our ladies, taking their clothes off in front of anyone had became a massive ordeal. Stripping off in front of a mirror and taking a good hard look at yourself in the first step to facing your fears and building up your confidence.

Stage 2: Change Your Self-Perception
You’re not as big as you think you are
The media bombard us all with unrealistic airbrushed images of women every day. These images of the stick thin, surgically enhanced women aren’t very realistic but these images portray women as beautiful and successful so it’s hard for normal women not to want to be like them. However, most normal women do not look like them so these pictures enforce feelings of negativity and encourage low self esteem.

So, the second stage of looking good naked is to start waking up to the way the media works and stop comparing these images to the way you look. Wake up to the fact that you actually look pretty OK, that you aren’t as big as you think you are AND look at all the women around you – I bet most of them are the same as you.

Stage 3: See Yourself As Others See You
Learn to take compliments and focus on the positive rather than the negative
The third stage is to start focusing on the positive rather than the negative aspects of your body. Do not dismiss compliments. Hold on to all the nice things people say and ignore anything negative that might come your way.

Stage 4: Work Your Body
Wear clothes that make you look and feel good
Your clothes can have a big impact on the way you feel about yourself. Wearing clothes that flatter your shape and emphasize the best bits of your body is the best way to feel and look good. Underwear is also key. Old grey underwear can only make you feel old and grey. Structured underwear will give you more shape with your clothes on. Sexy underwear will give you a boost when your clothes have to come off.

Stage 5: Respect Yourself
Look after yourself
Your lifestyle does matter and it does effect the way your look and feel about yourself. A good healthy lifestyle will pay dividends. You will feel better but the pay off is that you will look better too.

Stage 6: Beauty Cheats
Looking good naked
What ever your size and shape feeling confident is key to looking good – whether your clothes are on or off. So now you are feeling on top of the world it’s time to start taking advantage of all the beauty treatments and products out there. Follow these rules on a weekly basis and we guarantee you will look good in the buff:

‘Tis the party season, and sure, the dress, the hair style, and the makeup are all important; however, the best way to stand out in a crowd and to own the room is to make an entrance. I love these suggestions from the October 2007 issue of More magazine, from the article “Things You Should Know By Now: How To Make An Entrance:”

“Slowly!” says Stephanie Braxton, who played Tara on All My Children. “Lag behind in the receiving line, in the elevator, wherever,” and walk in alone. “It’s an old theater trick. On stage you always isolate the figure you want people to focus on.” Silently acknowledge everyone around you. “This makes them your ‘audience,’ even if you’re just entering a conversation. It’s also calming.” Now focus on staying in the spotlight. If there’s a photographer, move into the middle of a group of men, advises Dallas philanthropist Heidi Dillon ( “You’ll look like the belle of the ball”), and to the far right in groups of women (your name will be first in the caption).

We’ve been appreciating our hips and thighs (see previous posts), so I figured it was time for some belly love.

While I am opposed to dissecting our bodies and analyzing the pieces, rating our breasts, hips, thighs, and stomachs like cuts of meat, I must acknowledge that some parts of my body have been easier to love than others. In Western culture, breasts and hips are sexualized, and big or small, someone somewhere has a preference for a type. However, bellies are often stigmatized, with anything other than ripped abs (for female and male alike) being considered “acceptable.”

So, if you’re belly could use a little positive attention, I encourage you to visit HonoringYourBelly.com, the website of Lisa Sarasohn, who is a bona fide belly activist. Her book, The Woman’s Belly Book,

and her workshops present women with information, journaling activities, and yoga-based exercises to inspire and empower belly love. I’ve taken one of her workshops, and I can honestly say that it forever changed the way I look at my roly-poly belly.

This simple statement really challenged my thinking (and my desire for flat abs):

“Your body’s center, your belly, is home to your core life force. It’s the site of your soul power, the source of your passion and creativity, your intuition and sense of purpose, your courage and confidence.

Yes, urged as we are to “trim our tummies” and “attack our abs,” it takes guts — courage, determination, and daring — for a woman to honor her belly and discover the soul power it contains.”

As soon as she said it, I knew it was true: disdain for the belly represented disdain for intuition and power. And, how did I know it was true? I felt it in my “gut,” squarely in the center of my solar plexus.

So, spend some time today honoring your intuition and your power, give your belly a rub and send it some love. Sounds corny, but it works.

Here is an extended response to the Leonard Nimoy project from gogopussycat. She moved me to tears.

I read one of the articles about the full body project, I thought it was really sweet that he has become a size activist. The only part that I didn’t like was at the very end of the article they said “while he isn’t sexually attracted to full figured women, he does
think they’re beautiful.”

Like, don’t think you are getting away with being sexually attractive fat women, you can be acceptable, but not sexy. I mean, did they ask him if he finds Jewish women sexually attractive when he did the Shekina project?

At the very least he himself is doing something wonderfully positive for feminism and size awareness, it was just the journalist who had to throw in that traditionally snide, just to keep fat women in their place style comment.

So overall yay fat women! Its always amazing to me to see that and think, how not offensive are their bodies are! Fat women are made to feel that the very presence of their bodies are offensive, like you can’t wear enough clothes to be socially acceptable - and the irony is that they are actually more beautiful naked. ( For one part its due to the horrible plus size fashion selection!)

Im always struck by how much more interesting plus size bodies are, and so organic, it looks much more like a living thing in nature, like a tree, or earthen shape. Which brings me around to fat modeling, like how interesting would it be to make clothes
and have fat models where you could actually see the fat shapes through the clothing,
and not just massive body shapers and corsets (fat women are so threatening they’ve
been sent back in time to the turn of the century).

There are some picts of Velvet on Contraband, where shes wearing a thin Jersey dress, and think no body shapers or underwear, so you can actually see her cellulite dimpling, and flesh folds. And can I tell you how amazingly not unbeautiful nor offensive it is. Everything about the photos were typical to a magazine spread - makeup, hair blown back, soft lighting….and body fat. The last thing you expect to see associated with glamour and style.

It was fabulous.

I felt a whole consciousness shift, like I couldn’t remember why I ever thought that it
was hideous or unacceptable when that would happen to me trying on a dress or pants
where the material was “too thin” or “too tight”.

And that’s the power of an image.

Leonard Nimoy’s latest photography project, The Full Body Project, features the voluptuous women of the Fat Bottom Revue, a plus-size burlesque troop.

It is so rare that fat female bodies are visually portrayed as anything other than ridiculous or grotesque. Not only are these photographs visually stunning artistically, the power and confidence of these women are breathtaking.

Heather MacAllister, founder of the troop (with a degree in anthropology to boot), made the following profound statement:

“Any time there is a fat person onstage as anything besides the butt of a joke, it’s political. Add physical movement, then dance, then sexuality and you have a revolutionary act.”

These women are no joke, and their movement and sexuality, captured on film, is a revolution long overdue.

The Full Body Project is an art exhibit at R. Michaelson Galleries in Northhampton, MA (through January 15, 2008), as well as a book, available through the gallery website.

The gallery provides some great links to Nimoy’s artist statement as well as to several articles discussing the project. Click here for the list.

You can also purchase a Full Body Project tee. Very cheeky.