The blurb for this episode says: “A tall beauty hopes to gather confidence and live out her dream of performing a sexy tango.”

While I could write volumes about each episode of this show, three points really stand out in my mind:

1. Grae likes her body only when she doesn’t know it’s hers.

Grae’s attitude illustrates that body dissastisfaction has very little to do with actual body appearance. She has nothing but good things to say about her body when she thinks it belongs to someone else. Why are we so unkind to ourselves?

2. Body loathing keeps Grae from being fully engaged in the world.

How many of us think that we are “too fat” to try something new, or to pursue our dreams? What about her body would make Grae think that she couldn’t dance? Let’s quit hiding and get out in the world and claim our space and our dreams.

3. It’s all about confidence.

I love the moment in the electronics store, with Grae’s picture on every screen, when the cute guy approaches her and tells her that her body is fine, that all she is lacking is confidence. And her transformation is really based on gaining confidence, even more so than getting a makeover.

Keep it curvy, Grae!

Me, trying to “Keep it Curvy”

I had coffee with a fabulous new curvy friend today.We had a great discussion on clothing woes–If only H&M had curvier clothes–the importance of confidence–A confident woman will never want for male attention–and the need for positive role models relating to curvier body types–we need more curvy romantic heroines in movies and on TV. When we parted, she turned to me and said, “Keep it curvy!”

What a great catch phrase! It captures the idea of “curvy confidence,” that our curves our positive and worthy of praise. Further, “curvy” can be a state of mind. A wise man once said to me, “A curvy road means you take your time and enjoy the ride. The same could be said for a woman….” Rather than speed down the highway of life, wind your way down the scenic, curvy route.

So, I’m going to add “Keep it Curvy” to my repertoire of phrases, with the idea of honoring the curvy-ness of life, in all its shapes and forms.

I’d love to hear about any other phrases that capture your fancy. Body love–let’s speak it into existence.

I’m so glad that “How to Look Good Naked” is back on for Season 2 (full episodes available online). I applaud the honesty of the women who appear on the show for revealing the depth of the pain created by body loathing. And I applaud the program for being one of the few (if not only) shows on television to feature a variety of female body types in a positive manner. How beautiful are the models in Kelly’s mirror exercise? Gorgeous, curvy women portrayed in a favorable light? Yes, please, may I have some more?

And how stunning is Kelly in her sexy, black lingerie?

As for the second season of the show, I like the changes, especially the move to hour-long episodes. I also like the addition of the catwalk–I hope that this is a regular feature. This allows for a more in-depth exploration of the impact of body loathing on the featured women’s lives.

In the first season, every time I would watch this show I would find myself wishing for the nude photo shoot. Now, I want to walk the runway in my undies and high heels!

Have hot pink Post-Its, will travel. (See earlier article: Body activism works to reduce the “thin ideal”)

I’m leaving “You are beautiful” notes on mirrors everywhere.

What have you been doing in the name of body activism? I’d love to hear about it.

Source: Robbie McClaran for TIME

Thanks to Rachel at The-F-Word.org for her article on Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s (CNN) report in Time magazine and on his CNN blog. Gupta reports enthusiastically on the success of the Body Project, an eating disorders prevention program that not only educates women as to the source of “the thin ideal” (marketing messages) but also incorporates “civil disobedience” in its curriculum.

Since 2001, more than 1,000 high school and college students have participated in the Body Project, which works by getting girls to understand how they have been buying into the notion that you have to be thin to be happy or successful. After critiquing the so-called thin ideal by writing essays and role-playing with their peers, participants are directed to come up with and execute small, nonviolent acts. They include slipping notes saying “Love your body the way it is” into dieting books at stores like Borders [and on mirrors in public restrooms] and writing letters to Mattel, makers of the impossibly proportioned Barbie doll.

Gupta remarks that the Body Project is “seeing remarkable progress so far in an area that has seen few if any truly effective programs at all.”  What makes this project more effective than most? Studies have shown that media education is not enough ( See the previous post: Media images make us feel bad–and it’s getting worse). Women and girls are more educated than ever about the plastic nature of media images; however, our body dissatisfaction continues to increase. Could it be that the effectiveness of the Body Project is the combination of education and activism?

Knowing that we are daily manipulated by media images can create a feeling of helpless and powerlessness The activism of the Body Project gives the participants a sense of personal power in the battle against external messages.

What I love about this approach is the simplicity–a Post-It note on a mirror is about as easy as it gets. So, I challenge everyone: be a body activist. If you must, begin with your own mirror, and move from there.

I’ve got my Post-Its–mirrors of the world, watch out!

Last weekend, when I was waxing poetic to an activist friend about how I loved the “Sex And The City” movie even more the second viewing than the first (yes, I went to see the movie two days in row), she replied:

Why would you care about the lives of rich, skinny, privileged women who spend $100,000 on shoes?

That’s a great question, and the the reason that I didn’t invite her to see the movie with me. In fact, both times I saw the movie, I went by myself. I am not the “typical” SATC fan (if there is such a thing): I was late coming to the show—I didn’t start watching it until several seasons into the show. I don’t have a gaggle of girlfriends with whom I gathered to gawk and gab about the show (a straight male friend of mind convinced me to give the show a try.) In fact, for many years I felt guilty for enjoying the show—doesn’t this just promote a doubly impossible beauty standard for women of never too thin, never too rich?

However, not only do these wealthy, thin women entertain me, they make me feel powerful and proud. I left the theater thinking, “I’m forty and fabulous, just as I am.” So I have to wonder, can a curvy girl really feel empowered by SATC?

I’ll give my take on the question in my next post.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw yet another article on the negative impact of media depiction of ultra-thin actresses and models on body image; however,  the findings of  researcher Shelly Grabe and psychology professor Janet Hyde describe a sweeping analysis of 77 previous studies involving more than 15,000 subjects that reveals:

“We’ve demonstrated that it doesn’t matter what the exposure is, whether it’s general TV watching in the evening, or magazines, or ads showing on a computer,” says Grabe. “If the image is appearance-focused and sends a clear message about a woman’s body as an object, then it’s going to affect women.”

The effect also appears to be growing. The researchers’ analysis reveals that, on average, studies conducted in the 2000s show a larger influence of the media on women’s body image than do those from the 1990s, says Grabe.

“This suggests that despite all our efforts to teach women and girls to be savvy about the media and have healthy body practices, the media’s effect on how much they internalize the thin ideal is getting stronger,” she says.

In the past several years, I’ve been excited to see media consumers becoming more educated as  to how to deconstruct media messages and media images.  Dove has deconstructed images of beauty–Tyra Banks has pulled the curtain back on modeling.  Sadly, even though we know that the images that we see are not only unrealistic, but that often they are unreal, we are still impacted.

Or, let me change the “we” to “I”–I know that these images are plastic and manipulated, but I still feel the gut punch of the current standard of beauty.  Sometimes I find the mental and emotional fight to be exhausting.  But, I refuse to give up.  I want to love my body, to embrace my beauty, to be grateful to my body for allowing me to enjoy the fullness of life.

[Quote Source: University of Wisconsin-Madison (2008, May 12). Sweeping Analysis Of Research Reinforces Strong Media Influence On Women's Body Image. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 25, 2008, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2008/05/080512163828.htm]

It is no surprise to most of us to read that body loathing has become the norm for American women, with the majority of women in the U.S. expressing dissatisfaction with some part of their body; however, Denise E. Laframboise, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Hartford, says that at least half of all American men are now experiencing body image dissatisfaction.

The Hartford Courant.com features an interview with Laframboise on therapies for treating body image dissatisfaction. This is an informative interview on body image; however, I was struck by the 50% number for men and negative body image. I find that when I speak to groups of both women and men, there is always at least one man that expresses concern over his body image. Laframboise associates this trend with college-age men; however, I’m hearing men of all ages who are suffering with body concerns.

Here’s a quote from the article:

There is lots of evidence that body-image distress in men is increasing. … There’s a real spike in college-age men. For some reason, those younger men are just getting bombarded by media images that are really unrealistic.

In research, we get about half of the men (who are distressed with their bodies) expressing the same things as women: I need to lose weight. The other half of men are very different; they want to gain weight, bulk up, become more muscular.

I hear the “I need to lose weight” from guys a lot. What are you hearing?

And to the guys out there: how are you dealing with the pressures around body image?

Is 4-foot 9-inch 10-year-old girl who weighs 84 lbs fat? According to Nintendo’s Wii Fit game, she is. Wii Fit’s “fat” or “fit” is based solely on BMI. This young girl is active–she swims and dances–yet she is declared not just “unfit” but “fat” by a video game.  The article below reports that the girl in question is “devastated” to be labeled “overweight.”  And rightly so. This is such a delicate age for body image issues–and being called fat by your video game is just the kind of thing that triggers serious body image issues.

This is just one more example where BMI does not accurately represent health and fitness.

(Source:Pocket-lint)

Could Wii Fit create bad body image?

Concerns after game labels young girl “fat”

NEWS: 7 May 2008 15:32 GMT by Verity Burns

Parents on an online forum have expressed concerns over Nintendo’s Wii Fit creating a bad body image, particularly with young girls.

The controversy was sparked after a user complained that the game labelled her relative overweight.

“My [relative] came round this weekend and we let her play on our Wii Fit”, she wrote. “We have all laughed and joked about being told that we’re fat and need to lose weight but I was gobsmacked when it told her that she is overweight.”

According to the poster, the girl in question is a healthy 4-foot 9-inch 10-year-old who swims, dances and weighs only six stone [US 84 lbs]. “She is solidly built”, the poster adds, “but not fat”.

Apparently the young girl was “devastated” to be labelled as overweight.

The poster added: “I know it is just a game but seriously we already have to worry about young girls starving themselves to look like the magazine models and now we have a game that tells them they’re fat”.

Forum users have replied with varying responses, many angrily and backing the poster’s decision to write and complain to Nintendo (they are yet to reply).

However as one forum member pointed out, Wii Fit merely utilises the internationally-used BMI scale to calculate whether a user is overweight or not, and so Nintendo cannot be held responsible for the outcome.

BMI is considered by some to not be the best way to measure weight as it does not take into account frame or muscle.

I love fashion, but I hate fashion magazines. Studies have shown that the pictures in fashion magazines have a more negative impact on our body image and self-esteem than any other images. That being said, I do read some fashion mags (Figure Magazine just isn’t broad enough for me). One mainstream magazine that I subscribe to is Glamour. I noticed about a year ago that Glamour was making an effort to be more inclusive (in comparison with others) in portraying plus sizes. What that translates to is two or three mentions of plus-size clothes. Their “Dress Your Body” segment always includes a plus size model, and this month they address fashionable plus-size labels. It’s not enough, but it’s something.

That being said, I read one of the most amazing tributes to the female form in this month’s (June 2008) issue of Glamour, in the article “What Keeps a Guy Hooked on You For Life.” This is one of those male-perspective articles on what men love about their women. This article is not posted at Glamour.com, so I’m going to post the highlights of one man’s tribute to his wife’s hips–From: “Her Hips,” by Will Robinson, 29, in love for 15 years.

… But if you asked me what I couldn’t live without, what I need above all else, what I’ve worshipped since the very first day we met, I would tell you with a smile: her hips.

Round and sensual, those hips are what transform my wife from simply beautiful to incredibly sexy. They take a hard turn from her waist and then softly curve down to her thighs, a perfect combination of forcefulness and femininity….

… I wish I could convince her that though I’ll love her forever no matter what shape she’s in, having those extra-voluptuous hips to grab onto makes life together all the sweeter.

That may be the hottest thing I’ve ever read. Female hips as the “perfect combination of forcefulness and femininity”–that is a powerful testimony.

Saifa said most girls, and some of the boys, in her school worried about their appearance, but she thought inner beauty was more important.

BBC News has a website aimed at news for kids where they chat about the news. They have a series of articles aimed at children who worry about body image. What I really love is the video by their “worry” expert, “Agony Uncle” Aaron Balick. His message aimed at kids is spot on for adults as well. Here’s the text of the video:

So why are we so obsessed by the way we look?

It’s for two major reasons. The first is that we want to make a good first impression.

And the second reason is that we compare ourselves with people in the media and magazines.

These people are airbrushed, work hard with personal trainers and we can’t compare ourselves to them.

Why have we become like this, trying to be thinner and prettier and so on?

Good question. The culture we live in is image based. Many things are sold on image. Big images on billboards get our attention, and it’s the same with TV and movies.

And it’s about what people think is the most important thing getting mixed up. We see images everywhere, and we’re fooled into thinking ‘that’s about me’.

But it’s not just about looks. It’s about wider things like the way you think, having good ideas, being artistic or enjoying sport.

If you get upset, how do you get over it?

This is one of the things that’s easy to say and tough to do.

When you look at magazines, there’s sometimes a voice in your in head that talks to you in a nasty way.

The trick is to become aware of that voice and tell it to stop and replace it with more positive things, for example, what makes you happy and what makes people like you?

Everyone says it’s the inside that counts. Is that unrealistic?

My advice is to focus on what you want to appear good at, and not focus on first impressions.

Find things that make you feel good about yourself and develop them, then image will matter less.

Should we blame celebs?

They are not to blame. A lot of models and celebrities are caught up in themselves. It’s important to remember they might feel as bad about themselves as we do.

What if you get the mickey taken out of you at school? How can you shake it off?

You need to look at all the people around you. Everyone is slightly different.

One of the important things is not to make it so personal.

Look in a mirror, but also look at everyone else - I’m wearing glasses and am bald - lots of people out there are like this.

The second thing is to be a leader not a follower - who made them the fashion god or body god?

If they don’t like it, well that’s their business.

Congratulations to Tiffabee on the one month birthday of her great blog, Eat A Cheeseburger (www.tiffabee.wordpress.com). She is all about de-constructing the myths behind the thin ideal and challenging our society’s notions of beauty as it relates to our bodies. Not only is she keeping an eye on the media, she has created her “Cheeseburger Rules,” to help us to stay sane in a thin-obsessed world.

Here are The Cheeseburger Rules (check The Complete Set of Cheeseburger Rules for the details):

There are many beautiful, sexy plus-size women; however, if we never see ourselves reflected in the mirror of media as sexy, we begin to feel invisible. This is the ongoing dilema for the curvy girl: to be at once a visual spectacle, told she’s “too large” thus “too visible,” yet to simultaneously feel invisible in the domain of beauty and sexuality.

The F-Word.org has a fabulous, in-depth interview with grad student/photographer Kristin “Lou” Herout who replicated high-fashion magazine ads with “real” women as part of a study of the way the image of the ideal woman has changed in modern times–”he women progressively changed from large boned, round-faced, beautiful women to bone-protruding, thin women.

I’ve included an excerpt here regarding the treatment of plus-size women in media and advertising that for many years caused me much distress–the portrayal of larger women as anything BUT sexy:

It is extremely rare for any plus-size woman to be seen as a sexual being unless it is being portrayed as a joke. As stated in my paper, there is a “Wingman Training Manual” that is published by Maxim magazine that tells men how to keep their buddies from hooking up with a big woman when he gets drunk.

In my scholarly paper, I discuss the phenomenon of the plus-size bride; the bridal industry must represent plus-size women in some ads because the plus-size woman accounts for a large chunk of the market, but in an ad, the plus-size woman is treated very differently than her thinner counterpart. She is given a simpler dress, simpler background and loses the sexy mysteriousness that is common in haute-couture models. The plus-size girl wears a huge toothy smile, therefore there are different expectations for a woman of larger stature compared to a thinner model.

I think that campaigns such as the “Dove True Beauty Campaign” are commonly more hurtful than helpful. If this campaign, women are shown as being proud of who they are, great! But these women are average-size women; plus-size women are left out in the cold in this campaign. Also, these women still aren’t given the same attention as thin women: they aren’t shown as really sexy, they’re shown as being confident, despite their curves. They should be presented as being beautiful, sexy and proud, just as thin models are. Otherwise we are still making an exception for average-size women, instead of making them the norm.

I met a lovely woman, Marguerite, who made the statement in this post’s title: “My friends don’t like me when I’m 20 lbs heavier.” She is petite in frame and size, so, at 20 lbs thinner I think she’d probably disappear. But, she was at Loehman’s (where everyone strips down together to try on clothes), shopping with some college friends, and she commented that she could feel their disdain for her weight. She added, “They don’t like my glasses either (she wears stunning black frames), they think I should wear contacts.”

My questions:

1. What is it to her friends if she is 20 lbs, 40 lbs, 100 lbs heavier than in college? Isn’t she the same dear friend of their youth?
2. Why do we as women do this to one another? We are so vicious toward other women as regards appearance.

Hang in there, Marguerite! And keep the glasses–they’re awesome.

I just read a statistic that says the average young woman (ages 12-25) spends 100 minutes a day thinking about her body image. For example, spending 5 minutes in the morning deciding if her skirt makes her butt look too big, spending 3 minutes deciding to eat breakfast or not, spending 5 minutes deciding between the salad or the cheeseburger (quick shout out to the blog Eat A Cheeseburger!) for lunch. And speaking as someone older than 25, it doesn’t get much better after 25 (just add wrinkles and gray hair to the mix).

100 minutes a day–that’s the length of a feature film. We run our little fat-horror movies throughout the day, every day, wasting precious mental energy.  Can you imagine what we could accomplish if we could spend that 100 minutes a day on something, anything, productive? And not just as individuals, but with the combined brain power of all of those men and women who nickel and dime their mental energy away worrying about whether they should eat the bread on a sandwich?