The blurb for this episode says: “A tall beauty hopes to gather confidence and live out her dream of performing a sexy tango.”

While I could write volumes about each episode of this show, three points really stand out in my mind:

1. Grae likes her body only when she doesn’t know it’s hers.

Grae’s attitude illustrates that body dissastisfaction has very little to do with actual body appearance. She has nothing but good things to say about her body when she thinks it belongs to someone else. Why are we so unkind to ourselves?

2. Body loathing keeps Grae from being fully engaged in the world.

How many of us think that we are “too fat” to try something new, or to pursue our dreams? What about her body would make Grae think that she couldn’t dance? Let’s quit hiding and get out in the world and claim our space and our dreams.

3. It’s all about confidence.

I love the moment in the electronics store, with Grae’s picture on every screen, when the cute guy approaches her and tells her that her body is fine, that all she is lacking is confidence. And her transformation is really based on gaining confidence, even more so than getting a makeover.

Keep it curvy, Grae!

I’m so glad that “How to Look Good Naked” is back on for Season 2 (full episodes available online). I applaud the honesty of the women who appear on the show for revealing the depth of the pain created by body loathing. And I applaud the program for being one of the few (if not only) shows on television to feature a variety of female body types in a positive manner. How beautiful are the models in Kelly’s mirror exercise? Gorgeous, curvy women portrayed in a favorable light? Yes, please, may I have some more?

And how stunning is Kelly in her sexy, black lingerie?

As for the second season of the show, I like the changes, especially the move to hour-long episodes. I also like the addition of the catwalk–I hope that this is a regular feature. This allows for a more in-depth exploration of the impact of body loathing on the featured women’s lives.

In the first season, every time I would watch this show I would find myself wishing for the nude photo shoot. Now, I want to walk the runway in my undies and high heels!

Rachel at The-F-Word.org mentions the movie Disfigured, a movie about women and weight (on DVD July 29). Disfigured is the story of “an unexpected friendship between two women - one obese, the other anorexic.” (If you are interested in whatever happened to the winner of the first season of the biggest loser, definitely read Rachel’s article.)

The movie materials describe this friendship as “unexpected”–the perception being, as the fat girl says in the film, “I’m your worst nightmare.” In the past, I’ve thought it myself: even though thin and normal-weight women who suffer from eating disorder, well, suffer, at least they’re not fat. I never held bad feelings for thin women, but I may have minimized their pain.

Thus, the movie begins with Darcy (the woman with anorexia), seeking to join a Fat Acceptance group because she feels that she is fat. And she is refused admittance to the group.

Coming from the point of view of a woman who has always been larger than the norm, there have been times that I have said (in jest), “If I didn’t have low-blood sugar I would have been an anorexic,” as though anorexia is a condition to be desired, rather than a debilitating disease. Later in the film, Lydia (the larger woman) asks Darcy for “anorexia lessons.”

Thanks to my exposure to the stories of women with eating disorders (mostly through the blogosphere) I’ve learned that language that minimizes anorexia or bulumia is as insensitive (and offensive) as “No fat chicks.” And the more you compare the experiences of women around issues of the body, the clearer it becomes–we are all the same under the skin.

I look forward to seeing how this movie treats these and other issues relating to women and weight.

Have hot pink Post-Its, will travel. (See earlier article: Body activism works to reduce the “thin ideal”)

I’m leaving “You are beautiful” notes on mirrors everywhere.

What have you been doing in the name of body activism? I’d love to hear about it.

I am always trying to challenge myself regarding my own comfort level with my body (thus my foray into a women’s nude yoga class–a story for another time). So, at the end of swimsuit season last year, I decided to buy myself a cute, skirted bikini.

I’ve wanted to wear a two-piece swimsuit since, well, forever, but I’ve never had the nerve. However, when I saw a version of this cute INC International Concepts suit in a size 16, I took it to the dressing room to try it on.

Even under the cold flourescent glare of the fitting room lights, the suit looked cute. I liked the cut and the skirt was just the right amount of flouncy. I took it on and off several times, and each time I liked it on more than the last. The thought crossed my mind: this suit is meant for tall, lean, size-16s, not 5′5″ size-16s. But, I let that thought go, and bought my first bikini.

I took the suit for a test drive at the complex pool last season when I figured that no one would be around. I was pleased.

But the real test came this weekend, at our homeowner’s association pool party. Did I have the nerve to wear my (not so)-itsy-witsy-teeny-weeny black-and-white skirtini in front of all my neighbors? Could I sit in a lounge chair by the pool with 30 other people?

I rarely feel self-conscious around clothes and public settings. If I like how I look, that’s good enough for me. So, I screwed up my courage, put on my cute sarong cover-up, and headed to the pool. My reaction when I arrived really surprised me: I couldn’t bring myself to remove my cover-up.

I had the following dialogue with myself:

Just take off your cover-up and get in the pool.

But, I don’t know if I’m ready to be known by my neighbors as “the fat girl in the bikini?”

Didn’t you make peace with the whole “fat girl” thing a long time ago?

Yes, but, remember what they say on “What Not To Wear”: You may not care what you look like, but the rest of us have to look at you.

Anyone offended by you in a bikini by the pool can avert their eyes. Just take off the sarong and do it.

So, I did. And no one screamed out in disgust or ran in horror.

And how did I look in my bikini?

Curvy me in a bikini, do I dare? I did, and I do.

Last weekend, when I was waxing poetic to an activist friend about how I loved the “Sex And The City” movie even more the second viewing than the first (yes, I went to see the movie two days in row), she replied:

Why would you care about the lives of rich, skinny, privileged women who spend $100,000 on shoes?

That’s a great question, and the the reason that I didn’t invite her to see the movie with me. In fact, both times I saw the movie, I went by myself. I am not the “typical” SATC fan (if there is such a thing): I was late coming to the show—I didn’t start watching it until several seasons into the show. I don’t have a gaggle of girlfriends with whom I gathered to gawk and gab about the show (a straight male friend of mind convinced me to give the show a try.) In fact, for many years I felt guilty for enjoying the show—doesn’t this just promote a doubly impossible beauty standard for women of never too thin, never too rich?

However, not only do these wealthy, thin women entertain me, they make me feel powerful and proud. I left the theater thinking, “I’m forty and fabulous, just as I am.” So I have to wonder, can a curvy girl really feel empowered by SATC?

I’ll give my take on the question in my next post.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw yet another article on the negative impact of media depiction of ultra-thin actresses and models on body image; however,  the findings of  researcher Shelly Grabe and psychology professor Janet Hyde describe a sweeping analysis of 77 previous studies involving more than 15,000 subjects that reveals:

“We’ve demonstrated that it doesn’t matter what the exposure is, whether it’s general TV watching in the evening, or magazines, or ads showing on a computer,” says Grabe. “If the image is appearance-focused and sends a clear message about a woman’s body as an object, then it’s going to affect women.”

The effect also appears to be growing. The researchers’ analysis reveals that, on average, studies conducted in the 2000s show a larger influence of the media on women’s body image than do those from the 1990s, says Grabe.

“This suggests that despite all our efforts to teach women and girls to be savvy about the media and have healthy body practices, the media’s effect on how much they internalize the thin ideal is getting stronger,” she says.

In the past several years, I’ve been excited to see media consumers becoming more educated as  to how to deconstruct media messages and media images.  Dove has deconstructed images of beauty–Tyra Banks has pulled the curtain back on modeling.  Sadly, even though we know that the images that we see are not only unrealistic, but that often they are unreal, we are still impacted.

Or, let me change the “we” to “I”–I know that these images are plastic and manipulated, but I still feel the gut punch of the current standard of beauty.  Sometimes I find the mental and emotional fight to be exhausting.  But, I refuse to give up.  I want to love my body, to embrace my beauty, to be grateful to my body for allowing me to enjoy the fullness of life.

[Quote Source: University of Wisconsin-Madison (2008, May 12). Sweeping Analysis Of Research Reinforces Strong Media Influence On Women's Body Image. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 25, 2008, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2008/05/080512163828.htm]

Congratulations to Whitney on becoming America’s Next Top Model (I wish I had a picture of her in that pink Versace dress from the finale). My favorite line from tonight’s episode comes courtesy of the make-up artist preparing Whitney for the final runway show:

You’re the first juicy booty to make it to the runway.

All season long, Whitney has been referred to as the “plus-size” model. Tonight Tyra corrected that term and said that she was the “full-figured” model. Whitney has curves, but she’s neither plus-sized or full-figured. Still, I’m glad a woman with a more ”average” sized body will have a chance to be in the media as a representation of beauty. I’ll be curious to see what kind of media coverage she receives as the first full-figured winner.

Here is an art project that makes my heart sing:

The Human Mozaïk chose to sing the praises of curves and of round bodies by inviting women from across Canada aged from 18 to 50 years old to lend their forms to semi-nude photography and to unique artistic creations inspired by their curves. Each model’s curves and roundures were interpreted by different artists according to their respective styles, techniques and medium.

The Mozaïk~Curves project is also a collection of testimonies, poems and affirmations. The texts are written by the models, courageous women who become natural, artistic, proud, beautiful and intelligent. This is an original, colourful and inspiring project shedding a positive look on women’s curves and roundness!

http://www.artmozaik.com/Curves.html

I love the beautiful, sensual, artistry of the project. It is fascinating to see how various artists interpret the same photograph. The artists of the Human Mozaïk do a fabulous job of demonstrating the beauty of curves no matter the size or shape. I love seeing this diversity of female bodies portrayed side-by-side. Not only do these images move me, they make me want to see myself portrayed in such an inspiring and empowering way.

See the website for information on ordering the book (US $45) . I’m definitely getting one.

I love fashion, but I hate fashion magazines. Studies have shown that the pictures in fashion magazines have a more negative impact on our body image and self-esteem than any other images. That being said, I do read some fashion mags (Figure Magazine just isn’t broad enough for me). One mainstream magazine that I subscribe to is Glamour. I noticed about a year ago that Glamour was making an effort to be more inclusive (in comparison with others) in portraying plus sizes. What that translates to is two or three mentions of plus-size clothes. Their “Dress Your Body” segment always includes a plus size model, and this month they address fashionable plus-size labels. It’s not enough, but it’s something.

That being said, I read one of the most amazing tributes to the female form in this month’s (June 2008) issue of Glamour, in the article “What Keeps a Guy Hooked on You For Life.” This is one of those male-perspective articles on what men love about their women. This article is not posted at Glamour.com, so I’m going to post the highlights of one man’s tribute to his wife’s hips–From: “Her Hips,” by Will Robinson, 29, in love for 15 years.

… But if you asked me what I couldn’t live without, what I need above all else, what I’ve worshipped since the very first day we met, I would tell you with a smile: her hips.

Round and sensual, those hips are what transform my wife from simply beautiful to incredibly sexy. They take a hard turn from her waist and then softly curve down to her thighs, a perfect combination of forcefulness and femininity….

… I wish I could convince her that though I’ll love her forever no matter what shape she’s in, having those extra-voluptuous hips to grab onto makes life together all the sweeter.

That may be the hottest thing I’ve ever read. Female hips as the “perfect combination of forcefulness and femininity”–that is a powerful testimony.

Congratulations to Tiffabee on the one month birthday of her great blog, Eat A Cheeseburger (www.tiffabee.wordpress.com). She is all about de-constructing the myths behind the thin ideal and challenging our society’s notions of beauty as it relates to our bodies. Not only is she keeping an eye on the media, she has created her “Cheeseburger Rules,” to help us to stay sane in a thin-obsessed world.

Here are The Cheeseburger Rules (check The Complete Set of Cheeseburger Rules for the details):

There are many beautiful, sexy plus-size women; however, if we never see ourselves reflected in the mirror of media as sexy, we begin to feel invisible. This is the ongoing dilema for the curvy girl: to be at once a visual spectacle, told she’s “too large” thus “too visible,” yet to simultaneously feel invisible in the domain of beauty and sexuality.

The F-Word.org has a fabulous, in-depth interview with grad student/photographer Kristin “Lou” Herout who replicated high-fashion magazine ads with “real” women as part of a study of the way the image of the ideal woman has changed in modern times–”he women progressively changed from large boned, round-faced, beautiful women to bone-protruding, thin women.

I’ve included an excerpt here regarding the treatment of plus-size women in media and advertising that for many years caused me much distress–the portrayal of larger women as anything BUT sexy:

It is extremely rare for any plus-size woman to be seen as a sexual being unless it is being portrayed as a joke. As stated in my paper, there is a “Wingman Training Manual” that is published by Maxim magazine that tells men how to keep their buddies from hooking up with a big woman when he gets drunk.

In my scholarly paper, I discuss the phenomenon of the plus-size bride; the bridal industry must represent plus-size women in some ads because the plus-size woman accounts for a large chunk of the market, but in an ad, the plus-size woman is treated very differently than her thinner counterpart. She is given a simpler dress, simpler background and loses the sexy mysteriousness that is common in haute-couture models. The plus-size girl wears a huge toothy smile, therefore there are different expectations for a woman of larger stature compared to a thinner model.

I think that campaigns such as the “Dove True Beauty Campaign” are commonly more hurtful than helpful. If this campaign, women are shown as being proud of who they are, great! But these women are average-size women; plus-size women are left out in the cold in this campaign. Also, these women still aren’t given the same attention as thin women: they aren’t shown as really sexy, they’re shown as being confident, despite their curves. They should be presented as being beautiful, sexy and proud, just as thin models are. Otherwise we are still making an exception for average-size women, instead of making them the norm.

I just read a statistic that says the average young woman (ages 12-25) spends 100 minutes a day thinking about her body image. For example, spending 5 minutes in the morning deciding if her skirt makes her butt look too big, spending 3 minutes deciding to eat breakfast or not, spending 5 minutes deciding between the salad or the cheeseburger (quick shout out to the blog Eat A Cheeseburger!) for lunch. And speaking as someone older than 25, it doesn’t get much better after 25 (just add wrinkles and gray hair to the mix).

100 minutes a day–that’s the length of a feature film. We run our little fat-horror movies throughout the day, every day, wasting precious mental energy.  Can you imagine what we could accomplish if we could spend that 100 minutes a day on something, anything, productive? And not just as individuals, but with the combined brain power of all of those men and women who nickel and dime their mental energy away worrying about whether they should eat the bread on a sandwich?

I’ve noticed that as Carrie Underwood has gotten to be more and more popular, she has gotten thinner and thinner.  She’s become a bit of a red carpet darling, and I saw one headline referring to her weight loss as her “Hollywood Makeover.”

Thus, I wasn’t surprised to see the following article on iVillage.com: Carrie Underwood’s Struggle With Body Image. The article references the feature article in this month’s InStyle magazine, an in-depth interview with the singer.  The iVillage article offered some excerpts, and I found some additional comments at People.com.  I find her comments to be telling:

The singer also admits that she struggles with body image.”I think about what I look like probably more than I should. But I think everybody is her own worst critic,” she says. “Some days I step out of the shower, put my lotion on, and I’ll be like ‘Ugh, ew, ew.’ ”

She rarely goes out without makeup and keeps a food diary: “I’m OCD like that,” Underwood admits. “I count calories, fat and fiber – which is important in making you feel fuller faster – and protein, especially when I’m working out.”

Why is she so strict with herself? “If I put on five pounds, it’s noticed immediately,” says Underwood.

Still, she says, “I’m content with 90 percent of me. I like my teeth. Sometimes I wonder if my orthodontist realizes how important he was.”

The thought of Carrie Underwood (or anyone, for that matter) counting the nutritional content of every crumb that passes her lips is sad; what’s sadder is that her reasoning is correct–if she puts on even five pounds, the media jumps on it.  She’s content with her teeth–that’s the way we are taught to dissect our bodies and rate and grade the parts.  But even that has a qualification–apparently she wore braces, because she thanks her orthodontist.  Doesn’t it see tragic that the only part of her body that she can feel 100% fantastic about was “granted” her by someone else?

Thanks to Mariellen/vesta44 at Big Fat Delicious for her post on the Blog Talk Radio show The Overweight Date - Fat or Phat?

The cultural and racial perceptions of body image and weight, and how such perceptions translate into romantic desirability for single men and women will be the focus of Sucka Free Dating – The Smart Relationship Talk Show (http://blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat) with host Deborrah Cooper on Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 at 8:00 p.m. Pacific. The live, call-in show will feature two guests active in the body acceptance movement; Dr. Lisa A. Breisch is a Licensed Clinical Psychotherapist who specializes in working with plus-size individuals. Breisch also owns Club Round, which sponsors activities such as speed dating nights for plus-size teens and adults and their admirers. Laurie Toby Edison is an internationally exhibited photographer “Women En Large: Images of Fat Nudes” and body image activist, who blogs at Body Impolitic (http://www.laurietobyedison.com).

Dr. Lisa A. Breisch and Laurie Toby Edison were phenomenal in their discussions on issues of weight and beauty. Of course, in the midst of all of this positivity, some guy just had to call in and play the “health” card–’Men don’t want to date fat women because we’re worried they’re unhealthy and will not be able to bear us unhealthy children.’ [Oh, please, the health of your future babies I'm sure is the foremost consideration in your mind when you offer to buy a girl a drink. She's got to present you with her cholesterol and BP before you f*%# her.] Once again, you can’t even hint at anything positive about “fat” without someone feeling compelled to point out that our cultural discrimination against fat people is because they’re unhealthy.

I was already a fan of Edison’s work, but I was also very impressed with the message and demeanor of Dr. Breisch. When she said that the motto of her size acceptance group, Club Round, is: Every Body is a Good Body - No Matter the Shape, Size, or Weight. I just wanted to cheer. She made me smile all day.

I love Edison’s book “Women En Large: Images of Fat Nudes,” but I had somehow missed one important story relevant to the creation of the project. She told of a respected male colleague who made the comment that he would never visit a nudist colony for fear of seeing ‘a 300-lb woman with an appendectomy scar.’ Even though I’ve been thinking/researching/writing about body image for years, I never made the connection that there is a fear of large naked female bodies (a disdain for, yes, but fear…). Edison determined that if culturally we could move past this fear and see large female nudes as beautiful, then we could embrace the greater beauty of all. This is why I love that book. She has a great blog that is worth checking out as well.