Facing down the bikini
Here is the full story of the interview in the article, A love hate relationship is in season, in the May 24, 2009 edition of the Atlanta Journal Constitution:
I am always trying to challenge myself regarding my own comfort level with my body (thus my foray into a women’s nude yoga class–a story for another time). So, at the end of swimsuit season last year, I decided to buy myself a cute, skirted bikini.
I’ve wanted to wear a two-piece swimsuit since, well, forever, but I’ve never had the nerve. However, when I saw a version of this cute INC International Concepts suit in a size 16, I took it to the dressing room to try it on.
Even under the cold flourescent glare of the fitting room lights, the suit looked cute. I liked the cut and the skirt was just the right amount of flouncy. I took it on and off several times, and each time I liked it on more than the last. The thought crossed my mind: this suit is meant for tall, lean, size-16s, not 5’5″ size-16s. But, I let that thought go, and bought my first bikini.
I took the suit for a test drive at the complex pool last season when I figured that no one would be around. I was pleased.
But the real test came this weekend, at our homeowner’s association pool party. Did I have the nerve to wear my (not so)-itsy-witsy-teeny-weeny black-and-white skirtini in front of all my neighbors? Could I sit in a lounge chair by the pool with 30 other people?
I rarely feel self-conscious around clothes and public settings. If I like how I look, that’s good enough for me. So, I screwed up my courage, put on my cute sarong cover-up, and headed to the pool. My reaction when I arrived really surprised me: I couldn’t bring myself to remove my cover-up.
I had the following dialogue with myself:
Just take off your cover-up and get in the pool.
But, I don’t know if I’m ready to be known by my neighbors as “the fat girl in the bikini?”
Didn’t you make peace with the whole “fat girl” thing a long time ago?
Yes, but, remember what they say on “What Not To Wear”: You may not care what you look like, but the rest of us have to look at you.
Anyone offended by you in a bikini by the pool can avert their eyes. Just take off the sarong and do it.
So, I did. And no one screamed out in disgust or ran in horror.
And how did I look in my bikini?
Curvy me in a bikini, do I dare? I did, and I do.
20 comments
Nice!… Post more pics…
You look AMAZING! So glad you were able to share your story!
You look great! Thank you for sharing your experience, I feel better about myself already and have set this site as my homepage.
Happy Me xx
Wow Stephen I’m so glad that there are men out there who love us larger ladies! We’re fed a diet of tall long skinny minnies constantly via films, music, mags etc as if that is the norm and it’s nice to get some appreciation.
As a woman whose ex made her feel crap about her weight I’d like to take this opportunity to say thank you to Curvy Angela for posting this story, Stephen for being so appreciative and the whole site for existing!!
Angela, you look great! I would love to look that good in a swim suit! Can you tell me where you got that suit? Thank you!
Angela, I haven’t even worn *shorts* in years b/c of my “isshas”. They are at least four shades lighter than the rest of my brown body! Thanks to you, though, the legs are going to get some sun this summer…and who knows, I may even expose the midriff, too. As you know, body image issues really do not discriminate. But, I’m taking this inspiration and challenging myself to face them head-on, too!
@Jenny Thank you SO MUCH. I am so happy that you find the site inspiring. A friend of mine who is a graphic designer has created a great desktop background for me. I’ll be posting it, but here is the link: http://www.kleighcreative.com/maycurvy.html.
@Talibah: That is entirely the point: body issues do not discriminate–age, race, size, and now even gender–we all seem to be negatively impacted. In the AJC article (where I shared this story) http://www.ajc.com/printedition/content/printedition/2009/05/24/bsuits0524.html, over half of women report staying at home rather than attending an event where they had to wear a bathing suit. It’s so sad to me that we sit at home rather than get out and experience life because of our bodies.
@Melissa: that very cute suit is made by INC International Concepts. I got mine at Macy’s, but you can shop Macy’s online. The suit is from last year, so you could probably check on Ebay for it as well.
@Jenny. Beauty is appreciated in all shapes and sizes. Health, happiness, and confidence are very attractive traits.
You look beautiful. Bravo. I’ve never been a fan of the bikini. Not because I feel fat. I just feel naked. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era.
Looking forward to more swimsuit wars throughout the summer.
You look curv-a-licious! Nice article..do you write regularly for the ajc? Monique
you look curv-a-licious! Do you write regularly for the ajc? Monique, Atlanta Shoe Shopping Examiner
No, the AJC article was a one time thing. I was really pleased to be able to participate.
It looks great!!!
Had I seen you, I would have felt so inspired by you!!!!!! I love being around confident women, it can become contagious!!
You are an incredible inspiration! Thank you for holding that sacred space where all women feel safe and validated.
so cute! way to go!
Hey,
You look amazing. I’m reading this because I’m looking for encouragement, I happen to be the girl in the group with the biggest tummy, I have a great bum and fantastic legs, but my tum always gets me down. I think I will wear a bikini today.
Thanks!!
@Tumi Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you have real balls! Well done you! You look great!
Making a stand for all us curvy ladies out there!
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