Attention Atlanta Curvy Girls:

It’s time for the 2013 For Who I Am Curve Appeal Convention, in Atlanta, GA, Friday, May 5-Sunday May 7, 2013.

Enjoy 3 days of workshops, fashion and fun. For details and registration go to http://projectcurveappeal.com/convention/.

“Not again,” I thought to myself when I flipped on the TV to ABC News and heard the teaser for a story on actress Melissa McCarthy (Identify Thief, Bridesmaids, Mike & Molly):

Size matters? The red hot controversy tonight. The actress that makes so many of us laugh and the critic making so many of us steaming mad.

I didn’t even want to think about what hateful ugly things were being said about this beautiful and talented actress because of her size. I didn’t even wait for the story to come up–I grabbed my phone and pulled up Google News to see the headline for the USA Today story, “Melissa McCarthy trashed in scathing review.”  I clicked right on it, expecting the typical–happy, successful fat people are bad health role models and should be chastised, or the like–but what I found was a defense of Melissa McCarthy against a vile and vicious attack from reviewer Rex Reed (I won’t dignify his remarks by repeating them. Click on any the USA Today link to get the full details).

I was pleasantly surprised. Then, I went back to Google News. The next article, this one from the LA Times: “Critic makes few friends calling Melissa McCarthy ‘tractor-sized.’” In this article I find that Twitter is on fire, defending Melissa McCarthy against this personal attack.

ABC finally gets to the story, and it’s an extremely positive discussion of “Weight Wars,” discussing this attacks and public statements about Chris Christie and Adele. Thus, an ugly attack on a person-of size becomes a national news story, not as a cautionary tale, but rather as a defense against mean-spiritedness and hate speech*.

However, the real question here, is: Why is one ugly review worthy of so much news coverage? The answer: social media response.

I just came from spending the day at a social media conference, where one of the big discussions was the power of social media in giving voice to the “average” person.  So, while I’m thrilled that so many news sources are coming out in support of the big girl, the story they are really covering is the fan response on Twitter. The “traditional” media industry is looking for ways to engage with social media followers, and Melissa McCarthy was getting a lot of social media action.

So, the next time someone asks me why social media is important, why it matters what someone else had for lunch, I’m going to point to this example–social media can rapidly change the direction and tone of public discourse. And as a result, a beautiful big girl can have a country rally to her defense when attacked by a blathering bigot.

*To add a questioning footnote: all of the news coverage I’ve seen contains the same quote of Melissa McCarthy saying that she sometimes wishes she were a size 6 and she’s “working on” her weight. I do wonder if the media would have been less accepting of her if she said her weight didn’t bother her all. However, I’ll take the positive coverage where we get it.

A big curvy shout out to Jennifer Livingston, the Wisconsin news anchor who took to the air to respond to a viewer’s criticism about her weight, claiming, “Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain.”  (Article and video here.) [Read more →]

For curvy girls in the LA area: a nationally syndicated TV show is looking for a teen who wants to sing who will get a makeover and confidence boost, and a curvy women who will get a makeover. Show tapes Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2012. Email me at info @ curvylife.com for show contact.

I love this article by yoga teacher Bethany Eanes, “I Love Yoga, But It Didn’t Help Me Love My Body.” I think that she expresses a common experience of those who are “supposed” to love their bodies–sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, we just aren’t feeling that great about your body. And because we are advocating body love, the subsequent feeling is guilt–feeling guilty for not feeling body love.

Here’s an excerpt from the article that I think captures this issue perfectly:

Here’s the good news: If you don’t fully embrace your body, you are not a failure. You are normal. Body image is extremely complicated on a psychological, emotional and very personal level. There are factors at play every day that can make you feel great in your body or, especially as a woman and especially on certain days of the month, really terrible in your body.

I have practiced yoga for many years now, and I truly live my practice. I meditate. I eat vegetarian. I’m even sober. I go to bed early and wake up before sunrise. I try to breathe deeply into life’s challenges. I aim to live a simple life. But, I still struggle with body image. I still have days when I want to lose weight, even if I rationally realize I don’t need to. And here, friends, is where yoga actually helps.

The tendency to struggle with body image is going to happen. The tendency to act on this struggle can be avoided. I may feel fat, ugly, bloated or ready to scream at the scale. But, thankfully, I don’t take the next step. I don’t crash diet. I don’t stop eating carbs for three weeks. I don’t throw up my dinner. (If these are issues you struggle with, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you find a resource for help.)

www.curvycouture.com

I’m so glad to have discovered this new lingerie line: Curvy Couture.

The line was inspired by the glamour of the Hollywood era and looks absolutely stunning.

Some info about the line:

The creator and designer, Dora Lau, has been in the intimate apparel industry for decades manufacturing intimate apparel for such brands as Lane Bryant and others.  Growing up her family was in the music industry and she would style the talent, later becoming an evening wear designer.

Dora realized that intimates for curvy women are almost always a “regular” designed bra that is made bigger.  Curvy women need a bra designed for them — not just a bra in a bigger size.

She also feels strongly that women need style and fashion, quality too, at an affordable price.  Bras will be mostly in the $55 range, with beautifully detailed corsets at $75.  Coordinating bottoms too…

The collection shows the best of Dora’s fashion sense, manufacturing abilities and understanding of the curvy girl.

Highlights of the Curvy Couture collection were inspired by the silver screen goddesses, actresses, such as Ava Gardner and Marlene Dietrich, along with the architecture of their period.  The collection harmonizes the detail of art deco stitching and the delicate freshness of couture laces, incorporated with the comfort and function of tummy control panels, microfiber options such as convertible straps. “Haute couture means hand made,” Lau explains, “with many hours of development going into the product.  That is how we developed this line – with great care, so that every aspect is designed for our curvy customer.”

I’m looking forward to trying out the line.

I’m always happy to promote a new source for plus-size shopping. Here’s some info about a new online plus size resource:

Check out “REMIX” An exclusive Plus Size Consignment and Retail Boutique! High Fashion for Low prices! New inventory coming in weekly & Extended sizes coming in August (4x+), so please bookmark the site and check back frequently. www.tokyosremix.com

Be sure to “like” us on facebook for updates on new items and discounts www.facebook.com/tokyosremix  We do give-a-ways with each 100 “likes”

Negative body image can hold us back in big ways in our careers. I’ve spent the past 4 years working with women entrepreneurs, and it’s amazing how body image issues can arise related to launching and growing a business.

It is not uncommon for women to avoid being photographed or video recorded, avoid making presentations, meeting new people, attending networking or other business development events, because of a negative self-perception. Even more disturbing, there are those who will delay even starting a business until they “lose some weight.”

Here are 7 ways I’ve used with myself and my clients to beat body image issues in business.

1. Identify times when body image issues arise related to your business.

Negative self-talk about the body can be so subtle and so common as to be overlooked. Notice it there are times that you are avoiding a business development task because of a body image issue (eg., avoiding being photographed, skipping an event because you have “nothing to wear,” fear around making a presentation, etc.)

2.  Have a plan.

Once you’ve noticed where body image issues arise, work on countering (and hopefully replacing) negative beliefs with positive ones. Address the mental and emotional issues as well as the tangible, physical ones.

3. Treat self-care as part of your business plan.

In the hustle of starting and running a business, it’s easy to neglect taking care of yourself. Proper nutrition, regular exercise, and stress reduction must be part of your regular routine. When you are your business, your health and well-being is the health and well-being of your business.

4. Get help.

If you need support, don’t be afraid to get it. Talk to a trusted friend and ask for some positive reinforcement when needed. You may want to work with a coach or counselor to build positive body image and confidence.  If you hate your wardrobe, engage the services of a stylist. Need a diet and exercise makeover? Consult a trainer or nutritionist. Most experts have low cost/no cost materials that can get you started without breaking the bank.

(How does $30 sound for a style consult? Check out Chastity Valentine’s 1-hour virtual style consult http://garnerstyle.blogspot.com/p/style-services.html.)

5. Invest in a quality headshot and visual materials.

Most women I’ve met have a hate/hate relationship with being photographed. We live in a visual age, and most entrepreneurs need at least a headshot for use in business. There’s a reason why famous people look good in magazines (other than extreme-Photoshopping)–they work with great photographers. Invest in a quality headshot with a photographer who understands lighting, angles, and all the things that go into creating a good photograph. When you are excited by how you look in your picture, you’ll be much more likely to share the photo.

6. Invest in a quality wardrobe (that you can wear NOW, not 20 lbs from now)

This is the same philosophy as investing in a headshot–when you feel like you look good (it’s all about the feeling), then you are going to carry yourself in a way that will energize every exchange.  Again, this doesn’t have to break the bank, it just has to make you feel like your best, most powerful self.

7. Relax. No one is judging you, and if they are, who cares?

A great smile, enthusiasm, and confidence beat out a “perfect” look every time. All of those flaws we are obsessed with are usually overlooked by others. And if someone is judging you–what’s that to you? Why live your life controlled by the thoughts and perceptions of others?

So, when the group is lining up for a photo, jump in the front row. Don’t freak out when you get tagged in a Facebook picture. I personally think it’s great to have some bad pictures of myself floating around on the Internet. First, they make my good pictures look great, and second, it gives people a chance to tell me how great I look in person.

Of course, there’s always the “10 Years From Now” Game. It works like this: however you look today, whatever bad hair, lumps and rolls, wrinkles, etc. that are bothering you, will seem like nothing 10 years from now. 10 years from now, you’ll look at your worst picture from today and say: Look at how young I looked! So, why wait 10 years to enjoy what you’ve got today?

© 2012 Angela Stalcup

Great article in the New York Times on Jen Davis, a plus-size artist exploring her relationship with body and body image through self-portraiture. http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/26/seeing-yourself-as-others-do/

The article has samples of her work, or you can see her work on her website, Jen Davis Photography.

Body image meets entrepreneurship

Here’s a short video on the connection between body image and business, or how a good hair day can translate into a good business day.

Visit our new page, The Curvy Entrepreneur, for resources on combining self-acceptance and positive body image with business success.  Join our mailing list and receive the free download 5 Steps to Unleash Your Curvy Diva.

Hips and Curves - Red and Black Tapestry Corset - $49; Lace Trim Bustle - $35 ; 11" Shaper Skirt With Garters - $39; Opera Length Stretch Gloves - $16; Satin Pop-Up Hat - $20

Maybe it’s the long, cold nights, maybe it’s snuggling up by the fire, but there’s something about the holidays that puts me in the mood for frilly, sexy lingerie. Hips and Curves is one of my favorite online sources of lingerie, and they’ve got something there for both the naughty and the nice.

The outfit above is currently on my wish list.  My favorite part is the Lace Trim Bustle–seems like it could go with a lot of outfits. Most items at Hips and Curves are available up to size 24, with many items available up to size 28.

I’d love to hear about any sources you’ve found for cute, sexy plus-size lingerie.

I just saw this on EW.com:

The Style network has confirmed to EW.com that it has “no plans” to order a fifth season of the reality show, which chronicled the weight-loss trials of charismatic Savannah resident Ruby Gettinger….

The network released the following statement: “We thank Ruby for sharing her inspirational journey with the Style viewers, and we look forward to her serving as a ‘Fight with Style’ Ambassador in the fight against obesity.”

Ruby is rallying the fans on her Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/RubysOfficialpage.

So, while it looks like Ruby will remain in the public eye, she won’t be a regular on Style. I enjoyed the first few seasons, as the show chronicled a very large woman with a full and active life. I wasn’t as thrilled with this last season–it just didn’t resonate with me as much. However, I would have tuned in for a season 5.

Any thoughts on the end of this show?

Thanks to all who participated in our Playtex 18 Hour Bra giveaway. The winners have been notified by email and will be contacted directly by Playtex to receive their bras.

I’ll wrap this up with another cute Playtex video:

As I mentioned in my earlier review of the Playtex 18 Hour Bra line, Playtex and ALL YOU Magazine have partnered with The Curvy Life to offer 15 readers the chance to win her own Playtex 18 Hour Bra. In my test drive of two styles, the Ultimate Lift and Support (4745) and the Seamless Smoothing (4049), I was impressed with the amount of support provided by a wireless bra as well as the incredible fit and comfort of the straps.

How it works:

• 15 Curvy Life readers (one per person) will receive an 18-Hour Bra in the winner’s size (sizes 36B to 46DDD in most styles).
• See styles at http://www.playtexfits.com/bras/collections/18-hour.
• Contest open to US Residents 18 years of age or older (sorry to my international and junior readers).

How to enter:

• Complete the entry form at this link. Only one entry per person.
• All entries must include Name, Address, Email and bra size (visit Playtex to determine your size).
• Registration will be open until midnight (EDT) August 28, 2011.
• Winners will be selected at random.
• Contact information for the winners will be provided to the contest sponsors, Playtex and ALL YOU,  and the sponsors will coordinate receipt of the bra.
• Winners will be contacted by email.

Fine print:

This giveaway is sponsored by Playtex and ALL YOU.  Winners’ contact information will be provided to the sponsors, and prize fulfillment is the responsibility of the sponsors. Contest open to US RESIDENTS only. Winners must be at least 18 years old at time of entry to qualify. Only one winning entry per person. Void where prohibited by law.

Winners selected through random number generation at Random.org.

Contest Closed

About the sponsors:

The 18 Hour bra provides full coverage for long days.  This bra is for the woman juggling a busy schedule and looking for a bra that won’t budge, slip, or create discomfort.  It features moisture-wicking fabric for breathability, a soft underband to reduce chafing, and wirefree cups.  Visit: http://www.playtexbras.com/bras/collections/18-hour.

ALL YOU is geared to the value-driven woman, published by Time Inc. and sold on newsstands at Walmart stores nationwide and by subscription.  One of the hallmarks of the brand is their connection with real women and their celebration of women of all shapes and sizes.  Visit www.allyou.com  for money-saving recipes,ideas and coupons that help you create your weekly shopping list.Plus a Daily Free Sample!